Introducing Your 2006-2007 Miami Heat

[The JNR]

The JNR: We have a bad reputation when it comes to this league. We’ve never made the playoffs. We make bad trades. We run off good players. Needless to say, we’ve earned that bad reputation.

Starting today, though, we’re going to earn our bad reputation in another way.

MIAMI HEAT: BAD BOYS OF THE NBA SIM LEAGUE

The JNR: TJ Ford…a bad man in a small package. TJ has improved every year in the league, but he hasn’t gotten credit for his good numbers. He’s got a chip on his shoulder, and he’s going to let everyone know about it.

Andrew Bynum…only his second year in the NBA, but he’s already accrued a reputation of hard fouls and big numbers. Robbed of the Rookie of the Year by some government project in Seattle, he is going to show the world that Miami was right to kick Tyson Chandler to the curb. And those rumors of underage drinking? Who knows if they’re true?

Our newest addition, NBA Champion and premier bad boy Allen Iverson. He’s got a new city to run, and he plans on bringing his championship credentials and his toughness to South Beach.

And lastly…

Stromile Swift: GUESS WHO’S OUT OF REHAB *****ES?

The JNR: Together, we are the toughest collection of sonsa*****es in this league, and we will not back down. Will we make the playoffs? Who knows? But we’re going to make every team hurt. We’re going to make them work for the win. We’re going to make coaches look at our name on the calendar and gulp.

Miami Heat, 2006-2007. Let’s do this.

Any questions?

[TrayWithAnA]

Where do you see yourself falling in your division? It obviously isn't murderer's row like the Central, and a few teams may have taken steps back to the pack albeit still top dogs.

[The JNR]

There are clearly some good teams in this division. It's hard to tell if the Celtics will be back to dominance, but the Sixers and Wizards always have a chance. Our goal is to try to get better than one team at a time. Last year we only outran the Magic. This year we'd like to outrun more teams, until we're eventually the fastest runners in the division.

[Xist2inspire]

J. Felders from SI.com here. So, I'm guessing that with all the talk about being "bad boys," we can expect a little more focus on defense and rebounding? And Stromile managed to show a little improvement last season. What are you expecting from him this time around? And could you answer quickly so I can leave and check out the only real "bad" thing about Miami.........dem women! Wooo!

[TrayWithAnA]

J. Felders from SI.com here. So, I'm guessing that with all the talk about being "bad boys," we can expect a little more focus on defense and rebounding? And Stromile managed to show a little improvement last season. What are you expecting from him this time around? And could you answer quickly so I can leave and check out the only real "bad" thing about Miami.........dem women! Wooo!

HAHA

[The JNR]

The JNR: Thanks J., thanks for coming by. All 4 men on this stage are known for being tenacious defenders. Bynum has an enormous ceiling when it comes to defensive potential, and under Stromile's tutelage he's going to learn to be even better.

Stro: He gonna learn to smoke dat good kush too.

The JNR: Ignore what he just said, media and Andrew. We've always been a defensive minded team, but I think AI is going to bring that toughness to make us even more dedicated to playing good defense. As far as Stromile's improvements, his contract is certainly not friendly, but we don't expect the world of him. We just need him to play defense and rebound, get the occasional bucket, and show Bynum how to rebound and play defense. We are considering sending Stromile to work with Hakeem Olajuwon this summer to work on his post game. We're happy with Stromile going forward, as long as he doesn't land in jail again.

Stromile: Which is honestly pretty likely.