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Thread: Breaking News

  1. #26
    Hall of Famer Abbie's Avatar
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    This just in....

    Information is now leaking that an agreement has been reached between GA & Abbie. Bill Deal the infamous Charlotte attorney(of Shinn/Court TV fame), is representing Abbie and Cochran is representing GA. Upon hearing the news Say-What is reported to have left town last heard saying, "how can I compete with those two". Harvey hornet was last seen finger painting at the local hospital. When asked for a comment he said "Mommy is that you?"

  2. #27
    The Franchise Rich4114's Avatar
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    double you tee eff?

  3. #28
    Hall of Famer Abbie's Avatar
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    Originally posted by Rich4114
    double you tee eff?
    Hey things are slow around here lately, we have to do something to keep occupied until the next big announcement.

  4. #29
    In Time Out say-what-x's Avatar
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    After a quick trip to Washington D.C., say-what jubulantly returned with the announcement that he was able to retain the services of the George W. Bush Florida election lawyers. Immediately he was able to gain the release of the wrongfully detained Harvey Hornet. Abbie was last heard whining to herself - "That's no fair. He is cheating, Charlotte deserves the Hornets, they can't possibly survive in NOLA. Say-What and Harvey Hornet are going to steal the team back with their legal maneuverings and deep pocket casino investors." Grandadmiral simply shouted "Wuss, he can't face me one on one. The coullion has to go get other big shot lawyers to force this thing trough the courts the way he wants." Asked for further comment, say-what merely hinted that he still has an ace up his sleeve - "E-W-E"
    Last edited by say-what-x; 06-09-2002 at 07:01 PM.

  5. #30
    In Time Out Harvey Hornet-x's Avatar
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    ***Harvey Issues Statement***

    Dewey Cheatam (say-what), lawyer for Harvey Hornet, delivered this prepared statement written my Mr. Hornet. "I being of sound body, would like to mindfully address the rumors surrounding my purchase of the New Orleans Hornets and noh.com. As soon as I learn what an MOU is, I will sign it. The city leaders in Harvey are prepared to call a news conference. This is no Charlotte, Harvey is a thriving city in the middle of a renaissance and will act quickly. We now have 3 big loan sharks in Harvey all of whom will be sponsors. David, I mean Mr. Stern is fully aware of my every move. I have been given his blessing. The team and web site are ours to lose. This team is for Harvey, provided we can build the new open air floating arena which will cruise the Harvey Canal. David has given us until July 4 to deliver the plan. I would also like to announce the birth of the Arena Baseball League. The league will be comprised of 8 world class cities. Charlotte did not make the cut. At this time, I can say teams will be located in Harvey, Norfolk, Oklahoma City and Nashville. Charlotte may be considered for an AB2 team, but prosperous cities like Tickfaw, Bute, Montana and Bangor, Maine are making serious pitches. In conclusion, I would like to say that we will change the team name to the Harvey Coullions and the web site address accordingly. I must now call my doctor/cab driver for a ride and check up. Tonight I want to hit some of Harvey's finest establishments to enjoy the Lackers/Nets game. I can't wait to see WTF them coullion refs will pull tonight. I almost forgot, I would also like to donate a total of .10 cents to the Harvey recreational department!!! It will be broken down in to yearly installments starting in 2009 and will continue for 36 years. I just have to give back to the coullions in my community."
    Last edited by Harvey Hornet-x; 06-09-2002 at 07:05 PM.

  6. #31
    Hall of Famer Abbie's Avatar
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    This Just IN....

    Stern has been reported to say, the only way I will support keeping NOHO.COM in N.O. is if they build a new state of the art computer. It finally appears to be over as Mr. Hornet has spent his last .03 filling his prosac prescription and couldnt possibly afford to build a new computer. Mr. Hornet was last seen boarding a plane to Charlotte. It is being reported that he is seeking a loan in the "Banking Capital of the South". Bob Brinker reported on his call in radio show this week, prospects dont look good for Mr. Hornet.

  7. #32
    Originally posted by Abbie


    CC- was that past your bedtime?
    Yeah, the kids had me tired out from a bad night the night before. Sorry I missed it.

  8. #33
    Hall of Famer Abbie's Avatar
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    Glad to see you could stay up late tonight, It what about 9:00 there? J/K ! Hope last night was better for you!

  9. #34
    Failure is always an option Contributor
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    FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

    In a shocking development, a new player has emerged from the fog of controversey reguarding the NOH.co sale. BallStAlum96 and his partner, dream34 have announced that they are "close to buttoning up" th details to puchase the board in question and the NBA basketball team outright.
    TThe deal if approved would make the team truely bi-city and bulletin board center with satellite locations in Muncie Indiana and Houston Tx. Commissioner David Stern was quoted by saying" The NBA sees only positives in having a team that has 2 home sites, the marketing possibilities are endless" as for the website, current owner spongey is unavailable for comment but issued a strong denial through his spokesman Say What.
    Concerns about polluting 2 already viable NBA teams the Indiana Pacers and the Houston Rockets were brushed off by BallStAlum " If they want to cry like babies about competition, screw em"
    The ownership group is said to have the most fluid resources including a piece of the old Houston Rockets floor and a autographed Bernie Parmalee Jersey as collateral for the loan to get funding.


  10. #35
    Hall of Famer Abbie's Avatar
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    Hot of the wire....

    Unbelievable! It appears that Abbie & Mr. Hornets have joined camps. This after Harvey called and begged the Charlottean to bale his team out, Harvey is quoted as saying " whats he mean he's gonna turn my team Bi?".

  11. #36
    Rumor has it that Johnnie Cochran, attorney for Grandadmiral, will file a lawsuit against Harvey Hornet, Boomtown Casino, and Avondale Shipyards. The suit claims that Avondale, who is under contract with Grandadmiral to build a floating arena in the Cane River area, has giving the sketches of the arena to Harvey Hornet and Boomtown Casino execs. The skecthes was apparently delivered to Cochran and Admiral by a Boomtown housekeeper who saw the sketches on a boardroom table. The housekeeper has been confirmed to be an associate of Grandadmiral and Harvey Hornet.

    No one could be reached for comment.

  12. #37
    Failure is always an option Contributor
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    Dream34, the partner in this most recent ownership bid, is unavailable for comment sincew he is out of town in Boston scouting the Boston Red Sox for possible purchase and relocation to Siberia to make MLB a real international entity.
    Prospects for this move are positive from Bud Selig since only that would seem to break the curse of the Bambino and allow the team to win the World Series

  13. #38
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    **Harvey Hornet Backs Out Of Pursuit of noh.com and Hornets**
    Reporter: Justin Ayhole

    In a shocking development, Harvey Hornet the raving lunatic who was attempting to buy neworleanshornets.com and the NBA Hornets franchise and move them to Harvey, LA, has removed himself from the bidding. "WTF is going on. All these Shaq loving coullions have gotten involved and have muddied the waters. I have met with David, I mean Mr. Stern, and he has promised me consideration for an expansion team in Harvey. SpongeRidge, Grand Admiral, Abbie and all the other coullions invovled have poisoned the market. The fine coullions of this region will never support the Hornets projects no matter who ends up with ownership rights of the team and website. They'd be better off moving back to CLT with Shinnridge as owner! It is my intention to move forward and 'play ball' in 2003 with the ABL. Arena baseball is going to be a big hit. I will focus my efforts on that project at this time. The fans are going to love it. It will be fan friendly with fair officiating. Any official who shows favoratism will be executed after each game in the name of fairness!!! As far as the NBA goes, David has promised to award me with rights to an expansion franchise in Harvey, to be called the Coullions, provided I can build the floating open air arena on the canal. We should start play in 2004. I will also develop wtfisharveyhornetscoullionwebsite.com which should be up and running soon. David told me if I build it, the NBA will come. CLT doesn't stand a chance when compared to the demographics in Harvey. Who is this Bird guy anyway. What did he ever do? He can't be as well known as Harvey Hornet. Now where is my cab driver/doctor? I am ready to go out drinking and chase some women. I know GA, CO Cajun, Abbie, Whodat and the rest of them effing coullions will talk bad about me after this announcement and I certainly don't need them to make me look stupid."
    Last edited by Harvey Hornet-x; 06-09-2002 at 10:29 PM.

  14. #39
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    As I Hack It
    An Afternoon With Grandadmiral
    by Terry Geek
    Coldlanta Jumbled-Constipation
    June 10, 2002


    I flew in from Coldlanta on a typical hot and humid New Orleans Monday, my hands trembling on my laptop as I anticipated my interview with the Legend. The people at the airport said I looked suspicious because I insisted on pressing a towel filled with ice to my forward and mumbling "this is it, this is it!" but I happily submitted to the strip-search and background check. I knew my questions would at last be answered. I was getting my chance to interview Grandadmiral, the man who had saved NOH.com from the ignominy of exile to Hubcapland.

    I exited my cab in front of his Marrero residence in awe, obvious even to the rude and illiterate cab driver who demanded payment for something which clearly he should have viewed as an honor. After I tolled out the money to this heathen, I glanced for the first time at the name on the side of the cab. "New Breed," it said. New Breed, indeed, is an apt description for the man know only by nom de guerre in the rough and tumble world of fan-run sports forums ... Grandadmiral. Even the name has a grandeur. I got a lump in my throat. I gasped for a moment, when I realized the lump was really an unswallowed piece of peanut from my flight, but after a brief fit of coughing, I was ready to enter.

    When we finally settled down to do our interview, I was struck by the relaxed pose of a man clearly in command of all he surveyed. As he sipped his glass of wine, a Napa Valley red, I felt instantly at ease with a man of true class and breeding. We began the interview.

    TG: When did you first realize Spongeridge was the Anti-Christ?

    GA: The moment I first registered. I kept getting these weird messages: "Obey SpongeRidge... SpongeRidge is good... You don't need a spell check... Avoid Harvey..." I was like "WTF?!?" Then I uncovered the alliance between him,Tom Benson, and Mambo to get rid of Randy Mueller and the beloved Fetch Monster. SpongeRidge is the devil in
    disguise.

    TG: Sure he's evil, the whole world knows it, but can he be truly defeated or will he simply be reborn, Jason-like again and again to vex mankind until the end of days, which, admittedly, are probably not far off?

    GA: Well hell. I beat him in court before, I can beat him again, even if they let him become SpongeShinn. I can take him.

    TG: Harvey Hornet was once one of the greats, loved by millions and feared by even more. During the fierce combats of February and March as the hero of neworleanshornets.com, fought the good fight, not only at that hallowed website, but in the very den of the enemy, charlatans.com, earning him the sobriquet "Scourge of the Charlatans." In fact, if I may, I want to read you a quote from an interview with ESPN.com he gave right after the Great Bannings. ESPN.com: "Harvey, what is best
    in life?" Harvey: "Crosh your enemies, see them driven before you, and hear the lamentations of their wimmin." Grandadmiral, tell me, what happened? Is Harve just a complete nut, or does he have some larger plan, something beyond even our
    comprehension?

    GA: Only God knows what's wrong with that coullion. When I met him the first time, things were cool. Then he met Jessicad and all Hell broke loose. All he could say was her name. That was the beginning of the end, if you ask me. Wait... Isn't he married? Anyway, next thing you know, he's sitting naked in a drainage canal talking about swimming in the lake. He didn't even feel those little fish things biting at his...

    TG: How does this Arena Baseball thing figure into this? Is this the next XFL or is it doomed to failure?

    GA: I have no problem supporting Harvey's effort to bring the ABL here. But hell, who's going to give him a TV deal? Cox doesn't want it. Who else is there to take it?

    TG: If I were in Harvey and driving up river, how would I know I had entered Marrero?

    GA: Much cleaner than Harvey. Our streets have sidewalks. Hell, we never flood. We even have a song named after us.

    TG: I thought Harvey wasn't even a city. What's up with that?

    GA: Are you listening to me? I'm telling you something's wrong with him. He still believes the world is flat, Gore won the election, and the Hornets are still in Charlotte.

    TG: What is a coullion?

    GA: Now... If I tell you, I'll have to kill... Very painfully.

    TG: I thought it was some kind of turtle. What's the deal?

    GA: WTF did I just say?

    TG: Isn't that the president of Jefferson Parish's name?

    GA: Yeah... But so is the governor, the mayor of New Orleans, and everyone in the state legislature. They're all coullions.

    TG: What's all this obsession with canals?

    GA: That's his swimming hole. You heard him. He can't afford a swimming pool so he goes there swimming with the fishes.

    TG: What's Johnny Cochran like in person? Does the rhyming all the time get annoying? Is there any truth to the rumor he's related to Nipsy Russell?

    GA: Annoyed the s@#t out of me! Once I threatened to call Robert Shapiro, he calmed down.

    TG: Say-what says he can litigate rings around your attorneys. What effect do you believe these rings will have on your case?

    GA: The only rings say-what knows about are the ones around his tub.

    TG: What's up with Abbie and Betty Boop? Don't you think that's a pretty odd avatar for a dude?

    GA: A man!?! You're kidding me. I sent him/her/it a pm. S@#t!!!

    TG: As you know, I live in Coldlanta where the streets are paved with gold and milk and honey flows fresh from springs which erupt like golden fountains from the sidewalks. Living in N.O., land of poverty and misery, as you do how did you get so much money?

    GA: WTF!!! Gold and milk and honey? Are you kidding me? Sherman and his troops needs to make another trip to your town. Where are you originally from, coullion? L.A.? I worked for my money. Just like eveyone else in the area has.

    TG: As I know you know, I am exceeding fond of wine. If you were the Louisiana territory manager for a wine distributor, and were based on, say for example, the westbank, would you provide good deal on fine wines for your fellow westbankers?

    GA: WTF!!! Stupid f@#%ing tourists... Westbankers are some of the best connoisseurs of wine in the entire state.

    TG: A lot of people have gotten involved in the current relocation mess, from a lot different places. Let me read you a quote on the matter from West Coast Hornet, "WTF @%$^&( %$#@!@ &%^*^, I have never seen such %$#*&^%, and that dirty rotten $%#@&%. They ought to $@#^%##% %#$^% and $%#@#%. &%#%^$ coullion $^$^$^#$%#, I'd &$%^$^$% if &&*$#% tried that. %#%$$ #$ % $%^&%&!" What is your take on all this, and West Coast's comments in particular?

    GA: That's my boy. He was just expressing himself in the face of those who doubt the accomplishment of this area and that notion that he shouldn't get into a partnetship with me. He only wants to see the team succeed here. You can only take so much idiots like $0.03 man.

    TG: Is there anything in particular you'd like to add?

    GA: Yeah... I need everyone's support to keep the Hornets here. Do not listen the the scourge, SpongeRidge. He is attempting to brainwash you all. Harvey Hornet has no one but himself, and Jessicad, on his mind. He will take the team. Say-what... Well what can I say. He's an attorney. My only goal is to keep the team here. Now let me turn my attention to that no-good, rotten, broke wanna-be SOB, COCajun. Where are you, you little punk? I've been waiting on you. You big coward. Stay out of my city. Stay out of my state or I'll open a can of coullion on your @$$!!!

    TG: Thank you Grandadmiral. You've been gracious as always.

    What can I say? The interview speaks for itself. I left N.O. a richer man. Richer in spirit, of course.

  15. #40
    In Time Out say-what-x's Avatar
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  16. #41
    In Time Out say-what-x's Avatar
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    METAIRIE (RSP)

    In yet another perverse twist to the saga that has currently embroiled NewOrleansHornets.com and its subsidiary NBA Hornets Basketball team, Say-What hastily called a press conference in the Metry Playground Gym.

    "I now realize that forces greater than any of us realize have been at work trying to divide the effort of the New Orleanians with the goal of ensuring the relocation of NewOrleansHornets.com to Hattiesburg. It has been revealed through reliable, yet undisclosed sources within ESPN that Spongeridge has been intensifying his mind control tactics, not to force the boardmembers to submit to his will, but rather to loosen their inhibitions and promote irrational behavior and mistrust amongst themselves. It was also revealed to me by my psychic advisor that Abbie was attempting to capitalize on our state of confusion to steal NewOrleansHornets.com back to Charlotte."

    Say-What further said, "I realize that my recent actions have been divisive, but I was acting under the influence of Spongeridge and my attention was diverted by the counter attack of Abbie - huh....no, I refuse to believe everything reported by Terry Geek. No that can't be right - huh? Nevermind, more importantly, I want to try to re-unite our once solid coallition and restore order to this board. I have talked to my Casino sponsors and they are agreeable to working with the full coallition to keep the board and team where they currently are and appoint a fan advisory board to study the prospect of constructing the world's first floating arena."

    "You know, WTF. I hope Grandadmiral harbors no hard feelings. I know Harvey Hornet is recouperating and ready to fight the good fight again. Just an hour ago he threatened to fly to Charlotte just to pummel Packer for an episode of 'Internet Message Board Celebrity Boxing.'"

    RSP is currently attempting to obtain a comment from Grandadmiral on these recent developments. However, West Coast Hornet had the following comment, "Coullion, I could see this sh*% coming all the way from the west coast. Those damn coullions in New Orleans can't even protect themselves from second rate tactics of that ogre that lives in the culverts under the entrance to USM's stadium. F'ing coullions, F@#% them all! COULLIONS! If they need my assistance, they know where to find me, I will rip Spongeridge's head off and throw it across the arena."

    Copywhat 2002 - Rank Speculation Publications, the preceeding article is nothing but opinion, based on speculation, grounded in rumor first reported in the Chalmette Obscurer. No one in their right mind claims any rights to the foregoing
    Last edited by say-what-x; 06-10-2002 at 07:59 PM.

  17. #42
    In Time Out Harvey Hornet-x's Avatar
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    **Harvey Hornet Joins Forces With Jefferson Parish Politicos**
    Reporter: Justin Ayhole

    Continuing his pursuit of an expansion team and new web site "for the fans", Harvey Hornet has announced a coalition with Jefferson Parish politico, Tim Coullion. Mr. Hornet had the following to say, "Mr. Coullion is very excited about my efforts to continue the renaissance in Harvey and Jefferson Parrish. Mr. Coullion and the other coullions around here strongly believe in my ABL concept and are looking forward to David, I mean Mr. Stern's expansion announcement. Mr. Coullion and the Parrish are willing to build the floating arena with State and Parish money!!! It is down to Harvey and Charlotte. It is mine to lose. Everyone knows I own Charlotte!!! All I need to do is button up the details and get the open aired, open ended floating arena in the Harvey Canal built. Now that I know what an MOU is, I will sign it by the commisioners deadline of July 4. Now I need to learn how to spell my name. WTF is that coullion cab driver/doctor of mine?!!!"
    Last edited by Harvey Hornet-x; 06-10-2002 at 08:25 PM.

  18. #43
    In Time Out say-what-x's Avatar
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    Damn Coullions!

  19. #44
    This whole thread LMAO. :1pwink:

  20. #45
    Rookie BobJohnson's Avatar
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    Originally posted by CC_Hornet
    This whole thread LMAO. :1pwink:



    You said it CC .. I am sitting here at my office ... I mean at home because I would never view this while at work, I am too busy being productive .. yea that is it ... anyhow .. I am sitting here laughing at this thread ... I may have peed myslef over this.

  21. #46
    In Time Out Harvey Hornet-x's Avatar
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    What are you coullions laughing at?!!!

  22. #47
    CoCajun needs to bless this thread with at least 3 or 4 stars tonight.

  23. #48
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    ***Harvey Hornet Missing-Foul Play Suspected***
    Reporter: Justin Ayhole

    Estranged lawyer for Harvey Hornet, Dewey Cheatam (say what) announced that Harvey may be missing. Conspicuous by Harvey's recent silence, Dewey went to Harvey's house to find the front door adjar and no sign of the wealthy Harvey, LA potential NBA franchise and web site owner. Harvey is also the founder of the Arena Baseball League. An investigation is under way. Mr. Cheatam shared the following information. "I contacted SpongeRidge and we did a thorough investigation of Harvey's message board activity. An unopened PM from West Coast Hornet was found with the following statement from WCH to Harvey: 'Great talking with you today. You don't sound like a coullion!' Thats when I knew something was wrong. Harvey is a coullion!!! It doesn't sound like WCH actually talked with Harvey. When contacted today, West Coast, while playing golf, said Harvey appeared to be of sound mind and kept talking about how much good wine he had been drinking lately. I have passed this information on the the authorities. Sound mind? He doesn't sound like a coullion? Something is wrong. Who did WCH really talk to?"

    Jefferson Parish politico and ally of Harvey, Tim Coullion, said a criminal investigation has been opened and an APB has been put out on Harvey's behalf. Coullion said he "suspects foul play". This past weekend, Grand Admiral and his sidekick, Who Dat32, assaulted Harvey, which resulted in hospitalization and severe head trauma. After a thorough brain investigation, Harvey's doctor and cab driver said he "found nothing" and predicted a full recovery. Harvey and GA had been involved in a battle to purchase the Hornets and noh.com from SpongeRidge until Harvey announced his intent to start an expansion team and a fan friendly message board and web site. Grand Admiral and Who Dat32 were unavailable for comment. If anyone knows the whereabouts of Harvey Hornet, contact local authorities.
    Last edited by Harvey Hornet-x; 06-12-2002 at 09:24 PM.

  24. #49
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    ESPN is reporting that unconfirmed sources have stated that the Jefferson Parish SWAT team, while out hunting nutria, discovered Harvey Hornet roaming the banks of the Harvey Canal near the Boomtown Casino. Harvey was reported to be mumbling something about the Lakers and repeatedly referred to Shaquille O'Neal as a "coullion."

    Attempts to contact Mr. Hornet or his sometimes attorney, Dewey Cheatam, who for whatever reason prefers to be referred to by his board pseudonym say-what, have not been successful. ESPN will have more on this story as it develops.
    Last edited by say-what-x; 06-12-2002 at 10:16 PM.

  25. #50
    POMS News Service

    After several days of absence from public life, Grandadmiral made an appearance at his plush Marrero home to release a statement:

    I'm sorry I haven't been seen in a while. i've been in deep discussion with my advisors over the recent comments from say-what. After what's been going on, I'm happy to see that everyone is willing to put things aside and get the ball moving on keeping the Hornets in New Orleans. Commish Stern has given the go-ahead to Shinnridge to draw up the papers to sell 25% of the Hornets organization to me. I am excited for this team. I'm excited for this city.

    I have sent word to Harvey Hornet's attorney and have told him that I would be willing to pay up to $0.15 of his medical expenses. All lawsuits by myself and by Harvey has been dropped. I have also loaned Harvey $0.02 for his pursuit of an ABL team.

    To the SpongeRidge-Mambo coalition, I have this to say:

    It didn't work. I'm still here. We're all still here and we're not going anywhere. We're going to give Hell for what you've tried to do. The best from us, NEWORLEANSHORNETS.COM-- yes, that's who we are-- are yet to come. We won't forget this, coullion.

    And to the biggest coullion of them all-- yeah, you COCajun. I haven't forgotten what you've said. I will never forget. Do not let that @$$ SpongeRidge continue to brainwash you. It will only lead to your defeat. We are all united on this. Everyone is behind me in the purchase of the team. Stand with us and we can not be stopped by any monster from Hattiesburg. Against us, coullion, you too will be buried under that miserable stadium at USM.

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