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Thread: Breaking News

  1. #1

    Funny Breaking News

    New Orleans, LA POMS News Service
    In a move that will surely shake up the message board wars, the partnership known as SpongeRidge is apparently on the verge of ending. Rumors out of Hattiesburg, MS, stated that the two has been going at each other necks over the last couple of weeks for control of the NewOrleansHornets.com website. Ray Wooldridge was attempting to install new servers to the site when he apparently got into a scuffle with his orge-like partner who goes by the name Spongey.

    The two has signed agreements dissolving the partnership that will take effect at midnight on June 26th. At that time a new partnership will be formed between Spongey and Hornets majority owner, George Shinn. The entity will be known as SpongShinn and will be headquartered under the entrance to USM's stadium. Spongey will have full control of the website with proceeds from using the Hornets' names and logos going to Shinn.

    "This is the perfect business deal," stated the monster Spongey. "I will have full access to my website. Now I'm free to show those coullions who's really in charge. They're going to regret the day they f@#%ed with me!"

    Wooldridge is allegedly going to enter into a partnership with NBA commish, David Stern. The conglomerate will be known as SternRidge and will operate out of NBA headquarters in New York. "Who needs that b@*#%&d anyway," said Wooldridge, referring to Spongey. "I don't need his f#@&ing website anyway. It's too slow and it doesn't have a spell check. You call that progress? Give me a break. Stern and I are going to make tons of money having games fixed the way we want to. Don't print that."

    In other Hornets news, team owners George Shinn and Ray Wooldrige are rumored to be in talks with Grandadmiral to sell him 30% of the team's ownership. Grandadmiral is the indivdual who tried to purchase the rights to NOH.com but was turned down after a hefty legal battle. His net worth is now rumored to be bordering $4.25, more than enough to buy the entire state of Louisiana. NBA insiders say that the Hornets are willing to sell ownership of the team to Grandadmiral to prevent him from bringing an expansion team to the Cane River area. Grandadmiral was in preliminary talks with Avondale Shipyard to build a floating arena that would go up and down the river during home games.

    Twenty-five of the 30% will come from Shinn's 65% percent ownership of the team, with the other 5% coming from Wooldridge. This would put the ownership split at Shinn-40%; Wooldridge-30%; Grandadmiral-30%.

    "This is an exciting day for the team. Having local ownership will ensure that this team will be here for a very long time," stated New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin. "I only wish I had that much money."

    "We're all still in the negotiating stage right now," quoted a jubilant-looking Grandadmiral, "but I'm very optimistic. I feel good about the situation."

  2. #2

    Re: Breaking News

    Originally posted by Grandadmiral
    New Orleans, LA POMS News Service
    The entity will be known as SpongShinn and will be headquartered under the entrance to USM's stadium. Spongey will have full control of the website with proceeds from using the Hornets' names and logos going to Shinn.

    Wooldridge is allegedly going to enter into a partnership with NBA commish, David Stern. The conglomerate will be known as SternRidge and will operate out of NBA headquarters in New York. Stern and I are going to make tons of money having games fixed the way we want to. Don't print that."
    His net worth is now rumored to be bordering $4.25, more than enough to buy the entire state of Louisiana. Grandadmiral was in preliminary talks with Avondale Shipyard to build a floating arena that would go up and down the river during home games.

    "This is an exciting day for the team. Having local ownership will ensure that this team will be here for a very long time," stated New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin. "I only wish I had that much money."

  3. #3
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    My god I come back to this .


    LSU Fans, Check out our LSU Site, BAYOUBENGALS.COM , Sister site of SR and NOH.

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    Charter Member Bad Andy's Avatar
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    Knuckleheads!

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    haha, classic!

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    Re: Breaking News

    Originally posted by Grandadmiral
    New Orleans, LA POMS News Service
    The two has signed agreements dissolving the partnership that will take effect at midnight on June 26th. At that time a new partnership will be formed between Spongey and Hornets majority owner, George Shinn. The entity will be known as SpongShinn and will be headquartered under the entrance to USM's stadium. Spongey will have full control of the website with proceeds from using the Hornets' names and logos going to Shinn.
    A solid choice for site headquarters if you ask me. The University of Southern Mississippi provides a nice, quiet and relaxing atmosphere - especially on football Saturdays. So is the Superdome as we all know for Tulane games, but according to SpongShinn, "The further away I am from the grandstanding likes of Grandadmiral and Harvey Hornet, the better." SpongShinn also cited something about the state of Louisiana not being big enough for him and the formidable COCajun, who has confirmed rumors that he is likely to relocate to the Baton Rouge area by Thanksgiving.


    In other Hornets news, team owners George Shinn and Ray Wooldrige are rumored to be in talks with Grandadmiral to sell him 30% of the team's ownership. Grandadmiral is the indivdual who tried to purchase the rights to NOH.com but was turned down after a hefty legal battle. His net worth is now rumored to be bordering $4.25, more than enough to buy the entire state of Louisiana. NBA insiders say that the Hornets are willing to sell ownership of the team to Grandadmiral to prevent him from bringing an expansion team to the Cane River area. Grandadmiral was in preliminary talks with Avondale Shipyard to build a floating arena that would go up and down the river during home games.

    Twenty-five of the 30% will come from Shinn's 65% percent ownership of the team, with the other 5% coming from Wooldridge. This would put the ownership split at Shinn-40%; Wooldridge-30%; Grandadmiral-30%.

    "This is an exciting day for the team. Having local ownership will ensure that this team will be here for a very long time," stated New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin. "I only wish I had that much money."

    "We're all still in the negotiating stage right now," quoted a jubilant-looking Grandadmiral, "but I'm very optimistic. I feel good about the situation."
    While both owners do confirm they have "broached the matter" with a Mister G. Admiral, they dodged questions over possible involvement in discussions with present Colorado resident COCajun, who allegedly has a net worth of $4.37 and has expressed a ready willingness to relocate to the Deep South should final negotiations with him and Hornets ownership materialize.

    COCajun, when reached for comment at his posh, five-bedroom suburban Denver residence, expressed that reports of negotiations between Shinn, Wooldridge and Grandadmiral were "in reality premature" and that Grandadmiral is "the personification of Norfolk's efforts to secure the Hornets - nice try, but nothing firm in place." Presumably, fiancee Kate Winslet could personally verify the firmness - both financially and personally speaking - of Mr. Cajun.

  7. #7
    In Time Out Harvey Hornet-x's Avatar
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    BREAKING NEWS...
    Reported by: Jusitin Ayhole

    Always disgruntled, Harvey Hornet has filed a motion to block any ownership changes or potential moves by SpongeRidge, SpongeShinn, SternRidge, Grand Admiral or CO Cajun of neworleanshornets.com. Interviewed at his humble Harvey, LA dwelling Mr. Hornet claimed that the web site had been established in the New Orleans area since early January. The board members' attachment to this site was too great to allow a move to Hattiesburg, Cane River or "where ever the hell else them f%$ing coullions want to move it". Mr. Hornet said he is working a behind closed doors deal with NBA commisioner David Stern to force SpongeRidge to not only sell the site, but the team as well. Mr Hornet claims to be putting together a local ownership group (which he will be majority owner and spokesman) to keep the site and team in the New Orleans area. An obviously angered Mr. Hornet said he has offered to invest his entire net worth of .04 cents (Mr. Hornet had previously been worth .28 cents but is believed to have lost a great deal on the Kings/Lakers series) to buy the site and team. He also has plans to build a "world class arena" for the team to play in near his home in Harvey citing that the New Orleans Arena had been a good home to the Hornets, but had "run its course". "I will need a facility that will be able to house the web site offices, my bobblehead collection and be profitable. I want to make tons of money!!! I always wanted to be a greedy b^%$ard owner. I am thinking about building a retractable roof basketball arena with an open end near the bayou so my friends can pull up and watch the games from their shrimp boats". Mr. Hornet said he was not sure if the team would remain the New Orleans Hornets or become the Harvey Hornets. He was also considering renaming the site "harveyhornets.com". "I have invested alot of time into that name!!!" He continued, "I don't see what gives SpongeRidge the right to sell or move this site. Don't give me that 'he owns it crap'. Stern said, I mean Mr. Stern said, if I establish an ownership group capable of outbidding Grand Admiral and CO Cajun, I would get a fair look. All I need is 142 more investors to put up their .03 cents and my dream can come true. David, I mean Mr. Stern said I had better get my @$$ in gear and get the arena issue settled too. I'll show all them f&$#ing coullions!!! We intend on signing an MOU with the city of Harvey as soon as I can organize the ownership group and figure out what an MOU is. Then Stern will oust that b%$$rd SpongeRidge." Mr. Hornet concluded the interview by facing the camera and doing a crotch chop while screaming "obey this...!!!!!!"
    Last edited by Harvey Hornet-x; 06-07-2002 at 06:35 PM.

  8. #8
    In Time Out say-what-x's Avatar
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    all of the above -

  9. #9
    Transcript from a live reprot of FULA correspondant

    Scru Oneal:

    A bloody Grandadmiral was seen walking out of the Westbank home of Harvey Hornet. We were able to stop Mr. Admiral and he were his comments:

    Oneal: Grandadmiral! Grandadmiral! What just happened in there?

    GA: Stupid b@$!@%d!!! You can't be civil with anyone. Two weeks ago, I asked that coullion if he wanted to team up with me to purchased the team. He says "No." And what does he do? He goes and tries to pull this BS lawsuit to stop me from keeping the team in the city. Screw him!

    Oneal: Why all the blood?

    GA: This isn't blood stupid. It's red wine from the bottles I was hitting upset side his head. I showed him.

    Oneal: Isn't that WhoDat behind you?

    GA: Yeah. He works for me now. He's going to put more punishment on that b@$#%rd. Hey, COCajun! You're next mutha...

    Oneal: WhoDat?

    GA: No you stupid b!$#h! I said COCajun. Where are you from? L.A.?

    I'm talking to that liar in CO. He can't even make up his mind as to how much he's worth. First it's $4.25, then it's $4.37. Make up your damn mind. He's a coward. Don't move to Baton Rouge. Here I am. Come to New Orleans. Show your face if you dare. I don't need my money to beat your @$$. Just ask Harvey when he gets out of the hospital. No one is going to stop me from keeping this team here!

    F--king coullions. I'll put Creole on your @$$. Come on Cajun. I'm waiting on you!!!

    Oneal(Live): Ambulance pulled off about five minutes ago with Harvey Hornet in the back. Jefferson Parish Sheriff Harry Lee said the incident will be classified as self-defense.

    This is Scru Oneal reporting for FULA news...
    Last edited by GrandAdmiral-x; 06-08-2002 at 03:04 PM.

  10. #10
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    ***BREAKING NEWS***
    Reporter: Justin Ayhole

    In a news conference outside West Jefferson Medical Center, newly hired attorney for Harvey Hornet, Dewey Cheatam (say-what), announced plans to sue Grand Admiral. "We will take him for every cent he has. Mr. Hornet took several blows to the head, he'll be fine", added Cheatam. Cheatam continued, "Right before receiving a shot for pain, Mr. Hornet said 'I'll be damned if I roll over and take in the @$$!!!' I can tell he is felling better, he got in to an argument with a nurse about NBA officiating." The treating physician, Dr. Seymour Butz, who is also a cab driver, was also in attendance for the conference. "Mr. Hornet started yelling something at me about 'getting my @$$ back to the Charlotte message boards if I wanted an intelligent conversation.' I don't know WTF that coullion is talking about" said Butz. "Looks like a complete recovery", added Butz. "He requested a brick to be delivered to his room for possible use while watching the Lakers/Nets game", said Mr. Cheatam. Dewey then added, "when we take every penny Grand Admiral has, Mr. Hornet will be able to recognize his dream as the sole owner of the website, team and new arena to be called the Harvey Cultural Center." Cheatam said, "My last conversation with Harvey tonight was about the lawsuit. I told him Grand Admiral was running so scared that his @$$ was whistling dixie. Harvey stopped me and said, 'Know what Dewey? That sounds like a great half time show!!!' " The saga continues.
    Last edited by Harvey Hornet-x; 06-07-2002 at 08:41 PM.

  11. #11
    Hall of Famer Abbie's Avatar
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    This Just in....

    It is beibg reported that Abbie has offered to loan a full $10.00 to GA to buy the whole team. After hearing that HarveyHornet was demanding that the name be changed to the New Orleans Harvey's. Reportedly she just couldnt take it anymore, sold all of her stocks and is waiting on confirmation from GA. Her only stipulation is that she gets full use of the team jet.

  12. #12
    In Time Out Harvey Hornet-x's Avatar
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    Originally posted by Abbie
    This Just in....

    It is beibg reported that Abbie has offered to loan a full $10.00 to GA to buy the whole team. After hearing that HarveyHornet was demanding that the name be changed to the New Orleans Harvey's. Reportedly she just couldnt take it anymore, sold all of her stocks and is waiting on confirmation from GA. Her only stipulation is that she gets full use of the team jet.

    When I am successful in my attempt to buy the team, website and build the Harvey Cultural Center, I will change the name to the Harvey Coullions. I think the team needs a name with local flavor. This area has long been known for its coullions. Need proof? Read the "change the team name" threads on this message board!!!
    Last edited by Harvey Hornet-x; 06-07-2002 at 09:16 PM.

  13. #13
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    Mr. Hornets attorney, having recently found $10 under his sofa, has agreed to purchase arena and team naming rights with an immediate lump-sum payment of $10 to Mr. Hornet, thereby providing him with sufficient funds to purchase the team, website and additional bobbles. The arena will now be referred to as "Lakers Sux Center" and the team shall be renamed the "Neonights." When asked why "Neonights" Mr. Hornets attorney, say-what, said "one night after drinking at a Hornets watch party, I decided that this name was just so rediculous that I had to find a way to use it. I mean, the other teams will be so distracted trying to figure out what it means or just plain laughing that we can't loose a game."

    As for the lawsuit, say-what simply said, "I have never lost a case on this board. Besides, if GA does not relent, I have friends on the West Coast that may have to pull a Turley on him."
    Last edited by say-what-x; 06-07-2002 at 09:15 PM.

  14. #14
    Hall of Famer Abbie's Avatar
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    It is now being reported that Abbie, of Charlotte has agreed to mortgage her house adding to her available funds a full $25.00. With this additonal money she has contacted Stern and agreed to pay the "fees"(Ha) to the officials in the lakers series. Additionally she will be donating $5.00 to build roads in the city of New Orleans endearing herself in the hearts of the citizens. Mr. Stern has said that he will be formng a commitee to review both offers but is reported as saying upon hearing the news of Mr. Hornet offer..." Harvey Hornet , What does that collioun think he's doing he could not possibly afford to get into a bidding war with a Charlottean!"

  15. #15
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    As I Hack It
    Has It Really Come To This?
    by Terry Geek
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    June 7, 2002

    As I sit at my keyboard with trembling fingers, I can only bemoan the sad state of fan sports-interest websites at the beginning of the Third Millenium. Is it a result of the coarsening of our culture, or the cause of it? Who really knows? One things is certain, however, it is a sign Armeggedon can not be far off.

    Nevertheless, if the latest round of insults, shrill whining, and aggravated batteries were all that resulted from the wretched maneuvering of the universally reviled Spongey, Shinn, and Wooldridge, that would be the norm. A sad, pathetic, gut-wrenchingly horrific norm to be sure. But the norm nonetheless, in this world in which superstar professional athletes such as Kobe Bryant are allowed to participate in basketball games between 5-year olds when the prize is nothing more than a trip to McDonalds.

    No, I am not writing about the vicious fraud perpetrated on the public by greedy immoral corporations in an effort to convince us that basketball greats of the present played for the ABA Roswell Rayguns in 1975. Nor am I recounting the obvious fraud of the part of the self-same corporations in an effort to convince us that high school basketball leagues replace basketballs with enormous rocks for those players who fail to drink the "approved" so-called "sports drink." No, as aggregious and law-suit worthy as those abominations are, I am addressing something more terrible -- the effort to change the name of the New Orleans Hornets to the Harvey Coullions and move them into a canal.

    Coullions! This effort to disenfranchise non-Louisiana fans is as beyond belief as it is sinister. The vast majority of non-Louisiana people have no idea what this word means and I count myself as one of them. One thing is for sure, whatever SpongeShinnHarveRidge, or whatever that hydra of hate is calling itself this week, is up to, it can't be any good for basketball or the net.

    And to move the team and website into the Harvey Canal?! What is Shinvey thinking? He/they/it aren't thinking, obviously. I can just imagine the moderators dodging tugboats as they dive down to work on the site. Ridiculous you say? Not in Harvsponge's world. Apparently, he thinks you can run a basketball team AND a website while the Lapalco bridge is up. As I think it about, we really shouldn't have expected more. I didn't.

    Actually, the most disappointing figure in this sad saga, for me, has been Grandadmiral. At one time, I admired him. He was my hero. I had a picture of him on my wall that I signed and pretended was autographed by him. Now, he has descended to the same stygian depths to which the once noble and praisworthy Harvey Hornet has plummeted. I don't understand it. Wine? Who abuses the noble grape in such a fashion? Shame, shame on you Grandadmiral. If I had children, they would have looked up to you, but as it is now, they would be devastated and on the brink of suicide.

    Who knows if I will be back for more of this saga? The very thought of it makes me sick to my stomach. One thing is for sure, after this, we are a little bit less human.
    Last edited by Westbank Hornet; 06-07-2002 at 10:55 PM.

  16. #16
    Terry (WBH):

    Would you feel better if I bought you a case of wine? I would hate to lose such a good friend because of the anger I have for those who wants to take the team away from the city. What can I do to win back your support?

  17. #17
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    Originally posted by Abbie
    It is now being reported that Abbie, of Charlotte has agreed to mortgage her house adding to her available funds a full $25.00. With this additonal money she has contacted Stern and agreed to pay the "fees"(Ha) to the officials in the lakers series. Additionally she will be donating $5.00 to build roads in the city of New Orleans endearing herself in the hearts of the citizens. Mr. Stern has said that he will be formng a commitee to review both offers but is reported as saying upon hearing the news of Mr. Hornet offer..." Harvey Hornet , What does that collioun think he's doing he could not possibly afford to get into a bidding war with a Charlottean!"
    With that kind of money, she just may move the team back to Charlotte!!!

  18. #18
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    **HARVEY HORNET REACTS TO NEWEST OWNERSHIP GROUP AND ANNOUNCES PLANS TO START NEW INDOOR BASEBALL LEAGUE**
    Reporter: Justin Ayhole

    Having recovered from severe head trauma last night at the hands of Grand Admiral and WhoDat32, Harvey Hornet reinforced his intent to buy neworleanshornets.com, the New Orleans Hornets and build an open air, open ended basketball arena in downtown Harvey with an area for his friends to dock their shrimp boats and watch the games. He made these announcements in leiu of Abbie's attempt to jump in and steal the deal. Like he never missed a beat, Harvey continued on his rant. "I will be successful in my bid to make my dreams come true. I am not afraid of this Abbie person in the least. When her financial reports are analyzed, it will show that she is not financially stable enough to close the deal. She has all of her money tied up in the Oklahoma City Krewe, Norfolk Rhythm and Charlotte Neonights NBA deals. Her house is morgaged to the hilt. I hear she owes a $25 mortgage!!! Twenty five dollars!!! She will fade away quickly. Anybody see that f%$ing basketball game? Man I hate the Lakers. I feel like getting drunk, chasing some cheap women and beating the sh!t out of some cab drivers." Moments after he was confronted by hospital officials about a broken television in his room Harvey said, " The web site, team and new arena will only be the beginning of this wonderful renaissance in Harvey. I am negotiating with the folks who own the lease for the now closed Sav A Center grocery store on Manhattan Blvd. to develop the property and kick off his new brain child, The Arena Baseball League. Of course I will own the rights to the ABL team in Harvey. The ABL will be for world class cities like Harvey. The fine people of Harvey will love this game. Lots of contact. Fighting will be encouraged. The batter will be allowed to carry the bat with him as he attempts to round the bases. He can have blockers, and the defense can carry bats too! I came up with this idea while I was in a coma last night. This team would be called the Harvey Rhythmatic Neokrewe. If the league is successful, I am considering starting the AB2 league for B markets like Charlotte. I am pretty sure I can get Abbie to back off of the soon to be Harvey Coullions (former New Orleans Hornets if Harvey gets his way) web site and team rights if I award her with the AB2 franchise rights for Charlotte." When reached for comment, Abbie acknowledged Harvey's offer and said she would be delighted to own and manage the Charlotte Neonights AB2 team, but would continue her pursuit of the Hornets team and web site.
    Last edited by Harvey Hornet-x; 06-08-2002 at 01:00 AM.

  19. #19
    Hall of Famer Abbie's Avatar
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    Breaking News....

    Its a sad day for sports fans everywhere. The announcement came just moments ago... Harvey Hornet has been institutionalized and is currently what the doctors are terming "unstable & a risk to himself". What looked like a promising career and a quick rise in the ranks is surely over now. Stern has been quoted as saying, "I never like that collioun anyway, he just would not leave my totally honest ref's alone ". It looks like they league will approve Abbies bid to buy into the Hornets.

  20. #20
    Ya'll had way too much fun last night.
    Last edited by CC_Hornet-x; 06-08-2002 at 11:43 AM.

  21. #21
    Hall of Famer Abbie's Avatar
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    Originally posted by CC_Hornet
    Ya'll had way too much fun last night.
    CC- was that past your bedtime?

  22. #22
    Originally posted by Abbie
    This Just in....

    It is beibg reported that Abbie has offered to loan a full $10.00 to GA to buy the whole team. After hearing that HarveyHornet was demanding that the name be changed to the New Orleans Harvey's. Reportedly she just couldnt take it anymore, sold all of her stocks and is waiting on confirmation from GA. Her only stipulation is that she gets full use of the team jet.
    Word has just come in that Grandadmiral has offered to buy Abbie a lear jet in return for her support in buying the New Orleans Hornets and keeping the team in New Orleans.

    In other news, Grandadmiral has hired Johnnie Cochran as his attorney. They have filed a complaint with Louisiana Judiciary Commission to have say-what, attorney for Harvey Hornet, disbarred for conflict of interest and violation of client/counselor privleges. Say-what is rumored to also have a deal to buy the team. Evidence was also presented alleging that say-what shared confidential information about Grandadmiral, who he represented in attempt to purchase the NOH.com website, to Harvey Hornet.

    "The information supplied today looks very serious and warrants an investigation," stated the head of the commission. "I can't believe the coullion (refering to say-what) was stupid enough to do this. His @$$ is grass and the commission is going to be the lawnmower."

    Say-what could not be reached for comment. Harvey Hornet was re-admitted to West Jefferson Medical Center for injuries suffered when he was hooked by a rusted fishing while trying to swim in the Harvey Canal.

    "Where else can I swim? I can't afford a pool!!!" said Hornet as he walked into the hospital's emergency room.

    "WTF is wrong with these coullions?" stated Grandadmiral as he walked into his plush Marrero home. I thought the idiots were friends of mine. They're nothing but a bunch greedy SOBs. Always looking out for themselves. I'll show them. On the other hand, I am looking forward to working with Abbie."

    Rumor has also stirred that Grandadmiral has issued an offer to friend West Coast Hornet to join the partnership.

    About an hour after GA's comments, NBA commish David Stern was seen walking into GA's home with a case of Corona's and a sack of crawfish. He would not respond to our request for an interview.

    "I'm on vacation," he said. "Leave me alone, coullions!"

  23. #23
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    In an unexpected move, say-what issued the following statement during a hastily called press conference.

    "I am saddened that Grandadmiral has seen fit to file a complaint because I chose to represent Harvey Hornet on a personal injury claim, which is in no way related to my past representation of Mr. Admiral or the conflict of interest that he perceives. Mr. Admiral is a fine and honorable person and I can only say that, like former Police Chief Pennington, he must be receiving bad advice from his advisers. Aside from that, what I do with my own money is my own business and I never had an agreement to partner with Grandadmiral to buy the Hornets, I only represented him in what turned out to be a successful lawsuit against Spongeridge. My decision to participate in Harvey's plans to land the team have no bearing on my past representation of Mr. Admiral.

    That aside, I am pleased to announce that because of my ongoing relationship with the Boomtown Casino in Harvey, La, I have assembled a group that will assist Harvey Hornet in completing the purchase of the Hornets and this website. The Casino will front $100 and build the worlds first floating arena that will sail the Harvey Canal and include all amenities found in the current casino including the "All You Can Eat Steak and Lobster Buffet." The Floating arena will seat 18,000 with 3,000 club seats and 100 suites. Moreover, there will be a sky club casino area where casino gaming will be available with views of the game.

    We look forward to NBA approval and with our new casino partner, there is no one who can match our financial strength.

    Team management will be handled by Harvey Hornet, Say What will handle all financial negotiations including player and coach contracts, and Boomtown will manage the arena."

  24. #24
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    As I Hack It
    Are There Any Real Answers?
    by Terry Geek
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    June 9, 2002

    I only have time for a short column today, humble readers, as I am hot on the trail of a story that will blow the lid off of the myth of soft-drink advertising and the alleged performing enhancing benefits of lemon-lime soft drinks. More on this later.

    Todays subject, however unfortunate that may be, is the continuing saga of the Neworleanshornets.com website and its subsidiary basketball team. First, however, I must note that Grandadmiral has contacted me with an offer to give me an exclusive interview on this subject. He insists that if he is allowed to present his side of the story on the controversy swirling around the NOH.com relocation bid, the contentious and vexing issues surround this question will be cleared up. Certainly as I sit here typing this column and finishing my last glass of a nice California Merlot I purchased at Martin's Wine Cellar last week, I have to consider it.

    Even so, the matter becomes more perplexing by the day. Informed sources who have followed this saga closely tell me that the effort to institionalize Harvey Hornet is as likely to be successful as the similar effort to shut away Earl Long. According to sources, out of state interests known only by the code names "Abbie" and "CO" have put together an effort to purchase not only the NOH.com website and the rights to Harvridge's Arena Baseball League, but the Louisiana State Mental Health system, all state college sports programs, Louis Armstrong New Orleans International Airport, the New Orleans Sewerage and Water Board and the now-defunct Mackenzies Bakeries for a price rumored be in the tens of dollars. Wretched excess? Perhaps. But if I know my sources, and I do, it will happen. Mark my words.

    More later. Keep your ears peeled.

  25. #25
    Hall of Famer Abbie's Avatar
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    Sources close to Abbie are reporting that she is in search of an attorney to represent her interest in the Hornets. She has reportadly said she has .35 to put on retainer to hire the best N.O. has to offer.

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