NEW ORLEANS (ACP) - Westbank Hornet, age unknown, is likely to be vacated from the championship of the total points contest held at New Orleans Hornets dot com last night due to his use of an illegal mind-enhancing substance.
W. Hornet, a long-time resident of Terrytown, was rendered ineligible due to having been caught last night by SBI (Spongeridge Bureau of Investigation) authorities in the Terrytown International Airport internet access cafe dining on wild mushrooms he alleges to have been holding for his psychic friend Dionne Warwick, who was due in town for a charity auction.
"My goodness gracious," Spongeridge commented, "I was all set to award him a pernt but he had to go and pull this stunt."
He then shook his head and rolled his eyes heavenward. "I don't know what to tell you media types, but it's these kinds of events that solidify my desire to relocate this site to Hattiesburg."
In Westbank's place, DarthOrleans would be named the rightful winner as COCajun said; however, Spongeridge was in such a state of dismay and bitter anger that he has decided to revoke any pernt offering for this contest.
While SBI agents searched Westbank's Terrytown Estates condominium, his telephone rang. After several rings, Ms. Warwick left this ever-cryptic message on Westbank's voice-mail:
Keep smiling, keep shining, knowing you can always count on me. For sure, that's what friends are for. In good times and bad times I'll be on your side forever more.
c 2002, Associated Cesspool Press. Not one damn right reserved.