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Thread: Westbank Hornet/mind enhancers/DIONNE WARWICK?!?

  1. #1
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    Rumor Westbank Hornet/mind enhancers/DIONNE WARWICK?!?

    NEW ORLEANS (ACP) - Westbank Hornet, age unknown, is likely to be vacated from the championship of the total points contest held at New Orleans Hornets dot com last night due to his use of an illegal mind-enhancing substance.

    W. Hornet, a long-time resident of Terrytown, was rendered ineligible due to having been caught last night by SBI (Spongeridge Bureau of Investigation) authorities in the Terrytown International Airport internet access cafe dining on wild mushrooms he alleges to have been holding for his psychic friend Dionne Warwick, who was due in town for a charity auction.

    "My goodness gracious," Spongeridge commented, "I was all set to award him a pernt but he had to go and pull this stunt."

    He then shook his head and rolled his eyes heavenward. "I don't know what to tell you media types, but it's these kinds of events that solidify my desire to relocate this site to Hattiesburg."

    In Westbank's place, DarthOrleans would be named the rightful winner as COCajun said; however, Spongeridge was in such a state of dismay and bitter anger that he has decided to revoke any pernt offering for this contest.

    While SBI agents searched Westbank's Terrytown Estates condominium, his telephone rang. After several rings, Ms. Warwick left this ever-cryptic message on Westbank's voice-mail:

    Keep smiling, keep shining, knowing you can always count on me. For sure, that's what friends are for. In good times and bad times I'll be on your side forever more.

    c 2002, Associated Cesspool Press. Not one damn right reserved.

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    Hey, I'm just reporting the news. After all, that's why I'm paid the big bucks.

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    Rumor BREAKING NEWS From RSP

    HATTIESBURG (RSP)
    In a rare public appearance since his sudden voiding of the Guess the Score Contest and revocation of all awarded points, the ever reclusive Spongridge left the safety of his culvert dwelling located beneath the main entrance to Roberts Stadium on the USM campus. The near ogre like figure then read from a prepared statement, "I am addressing the press today to announce my plans to relocate the servers for NewOrleansHornets.com to Hattiesburg. The past five months have been tumultuous. I have seen the best of times and the worst of times. It was on a lonely night in mid January that I started this site to bring a quality NBA message board to New Orleans."

    Spongeridge's announcement could not have been more of a shock to loyal board members, who were not kind in their reaction to this sudden announcement. "It was just back on April 9 that Spongeridge told everyone that he was committed to supporting the upcoming Spell Check/new server referendum." Westbank Hornet said. "But then the bast*** had to go and bundle those proposals with other projects like the Tom Benson center for the treatment of alzheimers and the Richard Simmons center for creative arts. And to top it off, he unjustly voided my pernt. It was a**inine."

    "Why that f***ing coullion!" retorted West Coast Hornet. "What the F***! The coullion has poisoned the damn board. F'ing coullion promises us prizes in exchange for points but never delivers. Bast*** says he is not negotiating with other ISP's and it turns out he has been surfing the net anonymously looking for more bandwidth and larger hard drives. F'ing coullion!"

    When asked about these comments, Spongeridge chortled. "The boardmembers quit supporting the board ages ago. Sure we started out strong, but barely two months into the process half of the members got themselves banned. They had no idea how to act, never knew how good they had it. Why if you looked now, we have 1,338 members but the most we ever had on line at any time was 159 and that was way back on April 9. That's just a little more than 10%. How can they say they support the board. I have struggled to maintain the servers we have, but can no longer afford to do so because of declining revenues."

    Spongeridge's history is a typical rags to riches story. Born to poor strawberry sharecroppers in Pontchatoula, Spongey, as his parents called him because of his soft head, would work from dusk to dawn in the fields while being home schooled by his parents during the day. Then one day his fortunes changed. It was August 2000 and he found himself at the far end of Bourbon Street in New Orleans. It was there he knew he had the opportunity to hustle some spare change. Nervously he approached the first man he saw, a short, somewhat pudgy and slightly balding man who claimed to be a sports radio personality from Charlotte. Mustering up all his confidence, he nervously looked this fellow in the eye and asked "betcha a quarter I can tell you where you got those shoes?" Well Spongeridge had hustled his first quarter on the streets of New Orleans and quickly became accustomed to hustling strange men for quarters. Soon he had enough money to buy a computer and sign up with his first ISP. NewOrleansHornets.com was born soon thereafter.

    But his days as the hero of New Orleans' internet NBA chat boards was short lived. There was quickly the Mark Packer incident which many believe was in part retaliation for the way in which Spongeridge earned his first quarter. Shortly after joining the board, Packer quickly infurriated its members with his quick strike posts designed to incite angry responses amongst the board members. Says Harvey Hornet, "Fudgy is an a**hole. The fat little f*** doesn't have the balls to meet me face to face and has to resort to having impostors call his show to pretend to be me. The f'ing moron, the only job his dad could get him was on a low power radio station in hicksville that barely reaches the city limits. I don't understand why Spongeridge never banned this a**hole, I mean he banned 98% of the board members from Charlotte for much less. He has poisoned the board."

    In response to Spongeride's relocation efforts, the Big Three - HORNETSFAN, Harvey Hornet and Say-What, announced a plan to keep the board in New Orleans. The group's spokesman, COCajun, says that "the Big Three have been in close communication with the authorities at InternNIC & ICANN to make sure that they are able to secure the NewOrleansHornets.com domain for its current members. We have been told that if we are able to locate a new owner who is willing to pay 25 cents to purchase the domain and then obtain a commitment from the board members to purchase new Linux servers, then Spongeridge may be forced to sell NewOrleansHornets.com."

    The Big Three immediately announced that Grandadmiral, rumored to be worth $2.50, has made an offer to purchase the board for 25 cents. "How can they turn us down. We have a new owner who offered 25 cents to purchase the board, and are willing to buy new Linux servers with the largest storage capacity available for any owner but Spongeridge. They cannot allow this relocation now," said COCajun.

    When asked about the Big Three's efforts, Spongeridge replied, "I know Grandadmiral, he is a friend of mine and he did make an offer. But the board is not for sale, it is like my illegitimate child. New Orleans had their chances, but waited too long. Moreover they stopped supporting the board. Just look, we only have 32 people online right now and only 18 of those are members. I don't understand it. I have done everything I could to make the board enjoyable and this is the thanks I get. For all I care, the board members at NewOrleansHornets.com can kiss my grits."

    A spokesman for InternNIC & ICANN said that a relocation committee will be formed in the next week and will visit Hattiesburg in mid-June with a final decision due by August 1.

    "We don't understand how this could happen. We have done everything in our power to make this work, but Spongeridge has not bargained in good faith. He has thwarted our efforts at every turn," said Say-What.

    Copywhat 2002 - Rank Speculation Publications, the preceeding article is nothing but opinion, based on speculation, grounded in rumor first reported in the Chalmette Obscurer. No one in their right mind claims any rights to the foregoing
    Last edited by say-what-x; 05-18-2002 at 10:43 AM.

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    Press Release Date May 16, 2002

    Flak M. Spinmeister, Spokesbeing for Westbank Hornet; Spinmeister and Dodgem, PLC; 62nd Floor, One Terrytown Towers

    Mr. Hornet was both shocked and saddened to learn of the allegations against himself and his psychic friend recently. His pernt was obtained both legally and in accordance with all applicable rules. Although Mr. Hornet does not admit to using psychic powers or the Force to obtain his pernt, he does note that no applicable restriction forbid their use in pernt acquisition.

    He is certain that any truly thorough and honest investigation into these matters will fully clear him of these baseless charges. Accordingly, he has complete confidence that Spongeridge will complete any inquiry quickly, and in an unbiased manner in accordance with all legal obligations.

    Mr. Hornet has directed that all inquiries on this matter be directed to my office. I am also available for cable news appearances.

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    Originally posted by Westbank Hornet
    Mr. Hornet was both shocked and saddened to learn of the allegations against himself and his psychic friend recently. His pernt was obtained both legally and in accordance with all applicable rules. Although Mr. Hornet does not admit to using psychic powers or the Force to obtain his pernt, he does note that no applicable restriction forbid their use in pernt acquisition.

    He is certain that any truly thorough and honest investigation into these matters will fully clear him of these baseless charges. Accordingly, he has complete confidence that Spongeridge will complete any inquiry quickly, and in an unbiased manner in accordance with all legal obligations.

    If Whodat his is always kicked, you must convict!!

    If Westbank is full of sh**, you must not acquit!!

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    Say-What, that is great. You have outdone yourself. Now that is SATIRE. You could immediately take the place of that pile of crap in CLT who thinks satire is promoting his agenda and making hateful statements towards others. That piece was incredible. I laughed outloud so many times. That my the best post ever!!!

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    Never MIND who initiated this thread in the first ever-blessed place, huh Harvey (or should I call you Brad's Pitts) ?



    What can I say - I am Pulitzer material. Say-what is pretty good himself.

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    Related Story:

    Harvey Hornet and West Coast Hornet, both members of neworleanshornets.com, may be brought in for questioning by SBI authorities about their relation to Westbank and his mad quest to obtain SpongeRidge "points". West Coast Hornet did not return calls (WTF). When questioned, Harvey Hornet denied any relation to Westbank Hornet. "I obtained my 4 points fair and square", said Harvey.

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    Originally posted by COCajun
    Never MIND who initiated this thread in the first ever-blessed place, huh Harvey (or should I call you Brad's Pitts) ?



    What can I say - I am Pulitzer material. Say-what is pretty good himself.
    I must say, if it wasn't for your genius, I would never have been inspired to create my contribution to this saga.

    Now, I would like to thank all the little people that I stepped over to get here....LOL

  11. #11
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    Originally posted by COCajun
    Never MIND who initiated this thread in the first ever-blessed place, huh Harvey
    Are you lobbying for Harvey "points"? Great posts guys.

  12. #12
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    Absolutely hilarious!

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    An anonymous observer from Hattiesburg has reported that efforts are indeed on to "court" the NOH site that has been rumored to move. Space has been made available at Roberts Stadium - aka "The Rock" - for the site and for Green Wave supporters looking to upgrade to Golden Eagle status.

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    Rumor Breaking News from RSP

    HATTIESBURG (RSP)
    Last night the members of NewOrleansHornets.com were shocked at the sudden announcement by Spongeridge that he was moving the board to Hattiesburg. However, the news today was more stunning.

    In a surprise turn of events, Spongeridge announced that he has reached an agreement to sell a minority interest in the board to BuddyD for an undisclosed sum of money, rumoured by sources at ESPN to be about 6 cents. Spongeridge immediately said that he was delegating all future matters related to the relocation to BuddyD and that BuddyD would be the future spokesperson for the board. When asked to comment about this sale and Spongeridge's refusal to sell to him, Grandadmiral simply replied "Wuss!"

    BuddyD, with the aid of an interpretor, made the following statement whan asked about his intentions, "I never cared much about basketball most of my life. But I want to assure the board that I support basketball and will not change a thing. I plan to be a hands on moderator and control all posts so that this doesn't get out of hand."

    Immediately the uproar could be heard from the board's often referenced, but not related, Hornet brothers. Harvey Hornet responded, "This is just the latest in Spongeridge's efforts to poison the board. He could have sold to Grandadmiral who has $2.50 and could have easily bought out the entire board for 25 cents." Westbank Hornet added, "I believed it was Spongeridge's intent all along to move the board to Hattiesburg and then convert it to a discussion board for horse racing and second tier college sports. Why else bring in BuddyD and move to Hattiesburg. As I said before this is a**inine." West Coast Hornet, barely able to restrain his emotions, added "What the F***, F'ing coullion. I knew that F'ing coullion would try to run us off of this board to support his f'ing relocation plans. But to bring in that f'ing coullion, BuddyD, that proves how much of a f'ing coullion Spongeridge is."

    The Big Three were equally taken aback. The group's spokesman, COCajun issued a statement on their behalf. "HORNETSFAN, Harvey Hornet and Say-What, cannot believe the sh** that is going on. The group has worked dilligently to preserve the board and it's history for it's membership, but Spongeridge continues to make decisions designed to anger the board. Selling to BuddyD will only serve to alienate the board, he has limited knowledge about basketball and only talks football and horses; besides, no one can understand him when he talks anymore and we don't even think he knows how to turn on a computer much less moderate an internet message board. We have everything in place - a new owner who will offer 25 cents to buy the board and an agreement to buy Linux servers with the maximum available drive space for any owner but Spongeridge. What more do the powers that be want from us, statistically we have more bandwidth in New Orleans than Hattiesburg, we have 3 cents they barely have 1 cent. I mean they only have one internet board user with more than 1000 posts and that is Spongeridge, we have 6 over a thousand and one already over 2000." Speaking on his own COCajun added, "I sense a dark disturbance in the force. Seek must we now votes that with us side. Relocation denied, sale forced, victory ours is."

    Copywhat 2002 - Rank Speculation Publications, the preceeding article is nothing but opinion, based on speculation, grounded in rumor first reported in the Chalmette Obscurer. No one in their right mind claims any rights to the foregoing
    Last edited by say-what-x; 05-18-2002 at 10:44 AM.

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    Very funny all of you, but I really feel left out of the big three, I know you would to had to increase it to the big six to fit me in , but I see no reason to be slighted .


    LSU Fans, Check out our LSU Site, BAYOUBENGALS.COM , Sister site of SR and NOH.

  16. #16
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    Whodat32 - No slight intended, I just went by the top 3 posters (I am glad I still have my lead on WCH). I will edit to the big 4, big 5 if yo bro wants in. LOL

    Added 5/28 - Whodat 32, I have bigger plans for you in this saga, that's why I returned the references to the Big Three. Wait for Sunday night's installment.
    Last edited by say-what-x; 05-18-2002 at 10:45 AM.

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    Originally posted by say-what
    Whodat32 - No slight intended, I just went by the top 3 posters (I am glad I still have my lead on WCH). I will edit to the big 4, big 5 if yo bro wants in. LOL
    Ok, that seems fair, I will just take my frustration out on Grand again, next time I see you guys .

  18. #18
    New Orleans-- POMS News Service

    In a move that could rock the relocation efforts of SpongeRidge to move his website, NOH.com, to Hattiesburg, MS, Grandadmiral, rumored to be the individual attmpting to buy the site and keep it in New Orleans as a discussion board for the city's new NBA team, has filed a federal lawsuit against SpongeRidge.

    The suit claims that SpongeRidge offered to sell the site to Grandadmiral for $0.25, but pulled out after learning that the potential buyer was worth much more. Sources have said Grandadmiral has a net worth of at least $2.50, but as much as $2.75.

    The suit claims that SpongeRidge's refusal to sell the site violated an agreement in principle signed by the parties, which states that the only thing that could break the agreement was the securing of a loan of $0.10 that SpongeRidge was to use to update the site with spell check capability and a new Linux server. These not being done, SpongeRidge was required to complete the sale by the end of the month.

    "I'm deeply disturbed by this," said Grandadmiral as he left the federal courthouse with his attorney, Say-what. "The b*****d had it coming. He could've been on vacation by now. But no, he wants to play hardball."

    Many may remember Say-what as the attorney who led the effort in Charlotte to defeat the referandum to build a new arena for the Hornets. It was later rumored, but not proven, that Say-what actually worked for the conglomerate, ShinnRidge, the team's owner(s).

    With the lawsuit were also allegations of criminal activity being conducted by SpongeRidge. The accusations state that SpongeRidge, along with co-horts Andrus and Mambo, has been brain-washing the members of NOH.com and SR.com. It alleges that this brain-washing has led to the recent firings of Randy Mueller and the beloved Fetch Monster and to the addiction by many board members to SpongeRidge's point system. UNO's Tim Ryan stated the point system has all the signs of a con far worse than a pyramid sceme.

    "There is no chance of success at all," Ryan is quoted as saying. "The coullion is robbing y'all!!"

    SponeRidge declined all efforts for an interview and referred all questions to his attorney, Marc Morial. The number listed for Mr. Morial turned out to be a phone sex line. At the time of printing of this article, attempts to locate SpongeRidge and/or his attorney were on-going.

    If the court rules in Grandadmiral's favor, SpongeRidge will be forced to sale the site as required in the AIP.

    The lawsuit could also led to criminal charges of illegal brain-washing, which only the federal government has a right to do. If found guilty, SpongeRdige might be sentence to a prison term in Charlotte, where it is rumored that he and the infamous Harvey Hornet are considered to be one and the same.

    "Yeah!!! Bring your @$$! We're waiting for you!" exclaimed a member of Cht.com's forum, where "Harvey Hornet" has made many unwanted appearances.

    "We got something waiting for you, you low-down @#%@#*..."
    (The remainder of the comments could not be published)

    There is also a rumor of a class action lawsuit being filed against SpongeRidge for failure to meet obligations promised to members of NOH.com. The rumored suit stated that SpongeRidge promised points, but never delivered.

    Grandadmiral's attorney, Say-what, is rumored to be the attorney representing the plaintiffs, who includes West Coast Hornet, Whodat, Ballstalum, and Darth Orleans. Another participant in the class action suit, BDiddy, has come down with a horrible case of the Lakers plague. Doctors have been treating BDiddy with daily doses of the King's Royal Court dancers.

    "Treatment is going well," cited one doctor. "I hope he wins this lawsuit so he afford to pay this bill he's going to get."
    Last edited by GrandAdmiral-x; 05-17-2002 at 11:52 AM.

  19. #19
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    As a followup this reporter has learned that a silent claimiant in this suit against spongeridge is dream34 who also appears in the above mentioned photos taken at the watch party
    Last edited by BallStalum96; 05-17-2002 at 12:03 PM.


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    Grandadmiral, you cracked me up on that.

    But I don't know if I can handle the flood of hate mail I will get from Charlotte now that you outed me as the real force behind the Hornets move.
    Last edited by say-what-x; 05-17-2002 at 01:40 PM.

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    OP ED

    As I Hack It
    by Terry Geek
    May 17, 2002
    The Low Point Of Human History
    Coldlanta Jumbled-Constipation

    So, it has finally come to this. Sure, we were all sick to our stomachs when the Braves left Buffalo, the world's basketball mecca, for the seductive but corrupt climes of Southern California in search of filthy lucre. I personally cried myself to sleep when I learned that Hewlett Packard made a bid to buy Compaq. And who didn't openly weep when Aaron Brown left REAL network news for CNN?

    But now the other shoe has finally dropped. The universally despised Spongeridge has decided to slither out of New Orleans and take his wretchedly managed so-called "website" to Hattiesburg, a town known primarily as the hubcap capital of South Central Mississippi. Inside sources have reported that the city council put billions into moderators' pockets for the privilege of hosting this second-rate webdump. Well, the people of Hubcap City had better hope their caps are extra shiny, because they are about to find how much scum a scum-sucking bottom-dweller can suck out of a town that is trying raise itself from the bottom.

    Not that the Hubcapians really care, apparently. They have decided to use money they would otherwise have used to feed their starving children for the dubious benefits of low-rent "free" website touting a basketball team which plays in a city they have probably never been to, and couldn't afford to see if they tried. Even as I write this, their children are rumaging through garbage cans in nearby Laurel and Columbia for scraps of food to put in their hubcaps, because their own garbage doesn't even have enough nutrition to sustain the disappearing racoon population. Well, they have shown where their priorities lie, so it hard to have an ounce of sympathy for these wretches. I won't even try. They get what they deserve.

    This is the last straw. How can we live in a world where the city that invented fan-run sports interest websites could be so cruelly robbed by monsters such as Spongeridge? This is probably my last wail against the harsh inequities of this so-called "world."
    Last edited by Westbank Hornet; 05-17-2002 at 03:25 PM.

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    Oh, this is killing me. I can't wait for our next installment.

    Hmmmm, I wonder what Spongeridge will do next...........

  23. #23
    Originally posted by say-what

    Oh, this is killing me. I can't wait for our next installment.

    Hmmmm, I wonder what Spongeridge will do next...........
    Change the website's name to www.hubcapcapital.com (don't click the link.)

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    Originally posted by Harvey Hornet
    Are you lobbying for Harvey "points"? Great posts guys.
    Look here KAUFFMAN,

    I wouldn't touch your pernt even if I DID have a microscope & a pair of tweezers.

    Five stars... impressive... thx to those who voted for me. (No I didn't vote for myself... I do have morals y'know. ) It is official - I rule.

    Brad

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    Re: Breaking News from RSP

    Originally posted by say-what

    Speaking on his own COCajun added, "I sense a dark disturbance in the force. Seek must we now votes that with us side. Relocation denied, sale forced, victory ours is."

    Copywhat 2002 - Rank Speculation Publications, the preceeding article is nothing but opinion, based on speculation, grounded in rumor first reported in the Chalmette Obscurer. No one in their right mind claims any rights to the foregoing
    To the Jedi Council this I shall report. Wise is it not to disturb this site with movement to mississippi hub city.

    Besides, excessive Tusken Computer Geek Raiders there are on the barren land that is Hattoine.

    Young master say-what, I direct you to Pankme Kournikova's side at all times. If change positions you must, my business that is not. What makes Senator Pankme happy is what you must perform.

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